DarkesFear's
HomePage
Part
One
The Intoduction
Wassup kidz? I guess you've been browsing around and ended up on my webpage. Well I guess you might as well look around and listen to what I have to say. First of all I'm gonna take this part of my page to tell about what you'll find here and a little bit about myself also.
Well anyway, I'm a 14 year old student attending Hewlett High School which just in case you don't know is located on Long Island in New York. I enjoy WWF, South Park, Football, BET, Wu-Tang, M.O.P., Pokemon, Onyx, Girls (hot ones!), hangin' out with friends, and AOL. And just in case your curious I'm a Pisces.
What you'll find in my webpage is shout-outs to all my peeps around the country and my school, some animation which you have already seen floating around. In addition I got some hilarious jokes which you have to check out! I also have a link section. I'm also gonna say in advance that there might be some stuff that will probably piss a lot of people off at my school and if those people happen to have a problem with what I am saying they can take it out with me and my clique which I'm very confident that no one is stupid enough to do! (Check the rep kidz! You don't want none of this!!!)
Part
Two
Shout-Outs
Shout-Outs to family: Mom, Sis, Grandma, Nana, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, people who I've never met before but are out there, and of course Don
Shout-Outs to friends (In no particular order): If you're not mentioned it's cause I have nothing humerous to say! If we have a funny situation I'll make sure I list it!
Will- Get off the computer! Philip- Don't let people push you around. David- Your always right and marketing is ours! John C.- Welfare, never failing, and the much much very asked question; why are people rascist? Colin- Stay away from Satan and loud music. Vinny- Ow my feet, that damn trip! Andrew- Get the pipe. Evan G.- We control English and I'll teach you how to read. Jamie- Mooooooo, get your cat off the ceiling and have those eyes checked out. John G.- Stop exploding and behave. Mitchell- Stop eating, attacking bees, and look both ways before crossing the street!. Lee- Small children for you, in fact make that nursery children! Jen- Have some respect for yourself! Haliah- I never fail to amuse you. Steven- You're out of your element. Rod- Spit out the ferret, your not a playa, and your eyes scare me! Ali- Canibus voice. Jocelyn- Racist freako, get rid of that eyebrow ring! Clash- Get some sun and don't make my computer explode. Jason- Keep rappin. Jay- You're weak. Matt- Son. Munch- Dinosaur milk, the flood and the raft, and your just trying to say alive! Thomas- Learn some bigger words. Tim- Wu-Tang symbols at the top just for you. Courtney- Just kill Steven already! Josh- "Cause your a fruit!" Chris- Yo, Yo, Yo. Evan K.- Did you watch South park? Merri- My binder is green. Lindsey- Give me back my C.D. player or I'll sing! Shannon- You must spend so much money on nail polish. Brooke- You're the only one who cares about what happens to my Fluff Bunnies.
Other Shout-Outs: Big Baby Jesus and the whole Wu-Tang Clan, Eric Cartman, my English teacher, my Chicabooean Science teacher, Scooby Doo, Pikachu, The Rock, the cats on my wall, Bill Clinton, Sticky Fingaz, Busta Rhymes, Tupac Shakur (RIP), Notorious B.I.G. (RIP), the math teacher that told us to can-it, and most importantly God.
Part
Three
Jokes and Other Stupid Stuff
Jokes
Ok, I got an overwhelming response from people saying that they loved the joke section of my page so I got alot more jokes for you but like I said before to keep these jokes clean I'm going to have to edit them a little bit so if something doesn't make sense you have your reason.
64 Ways To Piss Off A Cop
1) When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?"
2) When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race.
3) When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.
4) If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer doesn't go that high.
5) Touch him.
6) When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a hat.
7) Ask him where he bought his cool hat.
8) Refer to him by his first name.
9) Pretend you are gay and ask him out.
10) When he says no, cry.
11) If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.
12) If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.
13) If he asks you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.
14) When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don't go that way.
15) When he puts handcuffs on, say "Usually my dates buy me dinner first"
16) Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don't like ink on your fingers.
17) After you sign the ticket and give it to him, say "Oops! That's the wrong name."
18) Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell him sorry, I just ate the last one.
19) When he comes up to the car, say "License and registration, please" right when he says it.
20) When he goes to read you your rights, sing "La La La, I can't hear you!"
21) Trip and fall into him.
22) Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away.
23) Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to use his pen.
24) Chew on the pen, nervously.
25) Clean your ear with the pen.
26) If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.
27) Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought your name sounded familiar....
28) Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was.
29) Act like you are retarded.
30) When he is telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.
31) Or mumble to yourself.
32) When he tells you to stop, say what are you talking about, DUDE?
33) Drive to Dunkin Donuts and say hmmm....only 5 of you here tonite......
34) Ask if they know how to make the donuts.
35) When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!
36) Ask if he watches Cops.
37) Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.
38) Giggle if he did.
39) Talk to your hand.
40) Ask if he knows someone named Rosy Palm and he Five Favorite Friends.
41) Accuse him of sexual harassment if he does.
42) When he frisks you, say You missed a spot, and grin.
43) When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.
44) Try to sell him your car.
45) Ask if you can buy his car.
46) If he takes you to the station, Ask to sit in the front.
47) Play with the siren.
48) If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner.
49) If you don't know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner.
50) Oops...I meant OVER for dinner.
51) Ask if he ever had pu-tang.
52) If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle.
53) If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in tongues.
54) When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh.
55) When you are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing.
56) Turn your head and whistle.
57) When he pulls out his night stick, say what you gonna do with that.
58) If you are female, say I don't do that on the first date.
59) If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine.
60) Ask if you can see his gun.
61) When he says you aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.
62) Stare at the lights and say "Look at the pretty colors!"
63) Tell him you like men in uniform.
64) Ask if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party.
Words to Live By
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left.
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
I'm not just a gardener, I'm a Plant Manager.
My reality check bounced.
I have not yet begun to procrastinate.
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make when they go flying by.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
There are two rules for ultimate success in life: 1. Never tell everything you know.
Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
You know you're to serious about computers when...
When you find it easier to dial-up the National Weather Service Weather/your_town/now.html than to simply look out the window.
When you start using phrases like: Hungry.must-eat.food.now@home
If you have a heart attack when you forgot to pay your phone bill and receive a "pending disconnection of service" notice.
When you order most of what you buy... online.
If your fingers quit moving because you've been online for 36 hours.
When you find yourself engaged to someone you've never actually met; except through e-mail.
When you log-off from a session in your favorite newsgroup... and your log reads: Online time: 56 hours 24 minutes.
If you put your e-mail address in the upper left-hand corner of envelopes.
If you have your e-mail address printed on your stationary.
When you insist on seeing the movie "The Net" - for the 63rd time.
If you maintain more than 6 e-mail addresses.
If you use more than 20 passwords.
If you set up your own Web page.
If you set up a Web page for each of your kids... and your pets.
If, instead of a phone number, you ask someone for their e-mail address.
If you can actually talk to the computers in your new car - and understand what they say.
When you modify the programming of your car's computers and actually get better mileage.
When you can access the Net - via your portable and cellular phone.
If on the way home from work, you use your portable and cellular phone in your car, to reprogram a Tomahawk missile, in flight, and redirect it to take out the joker in the Cadillac who cut you off.
If you try to press Alt-F4 to close your car window.
When you put a CD-ROM in your car's player.
When someone tells you about a great new program and you're very disappointed to find it's on TV.
If every sentence you utter begins with, "On the Net..."
If while reading a magazine, you look for the Zoom icon for a better look at a photograph.
You comment, while watching a sunset, that the image would be enhanced with 10% more magenta and a higher resolution.
If while driving down the street, you are confused by the numbers on the houses - they do not appear to be legitimate WWW addresses.
When someone tells you to remember something, and you look for File/Save command.
When you discover there is no little car icon with a forward arrow on the dashboard of your car, to make it go.
When you think the File/Kill command should apply to your system administrator.
Cannibal Jokes
Did you hear about the cannibal who loved fast food? He ordered a pizza with everybody on it.
When do cannibals leave the table? When everyone's eaten.
Two cannibals were sitting by a fire. The first says, "Gee, I hate my mother-in-law." The 2nd replies, "So, try the potatoes."
Excerpts From Student Science Exam Papers
1. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the organ of the species.
2. Benjamin Franklin produced electricity by rubbing cats backwards.
3. The theory of evolution was greatly objected to because it made man think.
4. Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.
5. The dodo is a bird that is almost decent by now.
6. To remove air from a flask, fill it with water, tip the water out, and put the cork in quick before the air can get back in.
7. The process of turning steam back into water again is called conversation.
8. A magnet is something you find crawling all over a dead cat.
9. The Earth makes one resolution every 24 hours.
10. The cuckoo bird does not lay his own eggs.
11. We believe that the reptiles came from the amphibians by spontaneous generation and study of rocks.
12. English sparrows and starlings eat the farmers grain and soil his corpse.
13. By self-pollination, the farmer may get a flock of long-haired sheep.
14. If conditions are not favorable, bacteria go into a period of adolescence.
15. Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
16. Vegetative propagation is the process by which one individual manufactures another individual by accident.
17. A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.
18. A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene triangle.
19. Blood flows down one leg and up the other.
20. A person should take a bath once in the summer, and not quite so often in the winter.
21.A hurricane is a breeze of a bigly size.
22.A monsoon is a French gentleman.
23.Thunder is a rich source of loudness.
24.Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound.
25.It is so hot in some places that the people there have to live in other places.
26.The wind is like the air, only pushier.
Sometimes newspaper editors state the obvious:
If strike isn't settled quickly it may last a while
War dims hope for peace
Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency
Cold wave linked to temperatures
Child's death ruins couple's holiday
Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years
Man is fatally slain
Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say
Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation
Other Stupid Stuff
Now I would like to present to you all the stupid stuff that I could come up with (as you can see the stupid stuff I have is very limited). Some off the stuff here you could interact with (Sort of). Well anyway check it out.
The Battle Of the Century
Now the battle you have all been waiting for. THE BATTLE OF THE FLUFF BUNNIES! What we have here is two Fluff Bunnies who want the title of the toughest Fluff Bunny in the world. The only way to decide who is the toughest Fluff Bunny is by E-Mailing me and telling me who you think is the toughest Fluff Bunny. In about one month I'll post on my web-page who YOU decided is the winner. (By the way, my E-Mail link is at the top of the page)
VS.
Part
Four
Animation
Ok, listen up. Because of the fact I got all these ill gifs and no place to really put them like I did with others I'm gonna use this section just to put out some of my favorite gifs. By the way the gifs here aren't just for you to look at. If you like any of them feel free to copy them. But you better not take all my gifs and copy my idea for an animation section. Thats not right and if I find out your taking them you'll be sorry. Well anyway, here they are...
Part Five
Music
If you haven't noticed it yet, there is music playing in the background. I'm gonna try to change the music every time I update which is about once a week. If you like the music and want a copy of it just E-Mail me telling me you want it. Also if you have any MIDIs of your own which you like don't hesitate to send it to me. You might end up hearing it play here one time or another.
The name of the MIDI playing today
is...
Rocky.MIDI
Part
Six
Links to other cool pages
Ok what I have here is a collection of links to my friends' pages. Check them out! (There will be more as time goes on)
http://members.Aol.com/JJAACC1
http://members.Aol.com/PoisonX15
http://www.CoreInc.SimpleNet.com
Part
Seven
Final words
Well I'd like to thank you for stopping off at my webpage. I hope that you have enjoyed looking around seeing what there was to see and doing what there was to do. If you have any comments or suggestions on how I can improve my page please don't be afraid to e-mail me (my e-mail address is at the top of the page). I would like to ask if anybody has any cool gifs to send them to me the make my webpage more fun and interesting. I now leave you with an awesome jpg.
Peace out kidz-DarkesFear
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